Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thermodynamics and Assclowns

If there was ever an argument for the extermination of the entire human race, I believe that I have found it.There is a nominally popular sport, known as Competitive Eating, that consists of having several "athletes"/assclowns (I'm unsure about the former, but absolutely certain of the latter) compete to see how much food they can consume within an allotted time. The eater that eats the most, before the bell, takes all.

According to the I.F.O.C.E , August 6th was a glorious day for overconsumption:

Johnsonville Brat-Eating World Championship
Date: 08/06/2005
Location: Sheboygan, WI
Winner: Sonya Thomas, 35 Johnsonville Brats in 10 Minutes
Total Prizes: $11,000 Total - 1: $4,000; 2: $1,500, 3: $1,250, 4: $1,000, 5: $800, 6: $700, 7: $600, 8: $500, 9: $400, 10: $250
Recap: History was made in Wisconsin at the Johnsonville Brat eating contest when Sonya Thomas downed 35 of the favorites in Wisconsin.Joey Chestnut of San Jose followed closed behind with a convincing 34 and 1/2 and Richard LeFevre impressed with 30....
According to Johnsonville , there are 290 calories/bratwurst. Thus, the winner consumed 10,150 calories, the runner-up was edged out with 10005 calories, and the 3rd place contestant's uptake was a mere 8700. In other words, approximately 29,000 calories were consumed in 10 minutes.

The UN has estimated that 20,000-25,000 people die daily due to hunger. The minimum daily caloric intake to prevent human starvation is about 400-600 calories. Starvation takes about a month or two to occur. In other words, if a human is deprived of 400 calories/day for 60 days, that human is most certainly dead. Give that same human 29,000 calories over a two month period, and the human is likely to be alive on day 60.
Now, maybe I'm being a sactimonius little dickhead, but I find it repulsive that 3 assclowns in Sheboygan were rewarded for consuming, in 10 minutes, that which might have prevented someone from starving over a 2 month period.

As if this wasn't sufficiently repugnant, it also appears that gluttony is a profitable trade. I am having trouble seeing how the consumption of 35 hotdogs is worth $4000. Perhaps I would be more sympathetic if the folks at Johsonville would require that the bratwurst consumption to be conducted via the other end.


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