The Cosmopolitan

In August, I decided to expand my cultural horizons. As a result, I enrolled in Spanish 101 at a local community college. I am making satisfactory progress with the workload and even received a high B on my last exam. Nevertheless, there is a problem. Though I have faithfully attended every class, the only Spanish that I actually know is: Hola! ¿Dónde están las damas peludas esta noche? This phrase translates roughly into english as: Hello, Where are the hairy ladies tonight?

I'm not going to pretend that this won't fulfill 98% of my spanish speaking needs, but somehow after 2 months, I feel I should know more. This feeling is reinforced when I think back to the days when I was taking elementary german. For instance, at this point in the curriculum, I could already express complex concepts like: Dies ist gutes Penizillin! (This is good penicillin!) and Ich habe viele, große Rülpser für Sie (I have many, large burps for you.) and Möchten Sie die Wurst der Liebe schmecken? (Would you like to taste the sausage of love?). It is abundantly clear to me that I am being shortchanged in my education. If the situation continues unabated, I may have to resort to extreme tactics, such as studying. Perhaps I should start here.