Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Sometimes adulthood sucks

Yesterday morning, I stopped at a gas station in Cockeysville to get something to drink on my way to work. There was a contractor in front of me trying to buy cigarettes but he was $0.16 short. He turns to me and asks if I had the $0.16 to which I responded that I didn't. I had the exact amount of my purchase. The clerk told him that he would let him slide and gave him the cigarettes. The guy pockets his purchase takes a step past me and says, "If I had $0.16 I would have given it to you." I replied, "OK" and turned to pay for my drink. The guy gets to the door and says,"You're all jewish up here. You suck, you fucking jew bastard. I hate all you fucking jews." I'm not a morning person so, even though I'm not jewish, I am less than amused with this assclown. Nevertheless, I ignore him, pay for my item, and leave.

I get out to the parking lot and see that he has another assclown with him and they are standing beside their work truck. Both look like heavy drug users, so as long as I don't see a gun, I'm not too concerned. As I walk past them to go to my car, his buddy says, "You got a fucking problem?" I replied, "Not yet" and got into my car. As soon as I get in, I hear the other one start yelling about "jewish cocksuckers" and "jewish whoring bitches." At this point, I'm livid and want nothing more than to grab the tire iron from my rear floorboard and deliver the asskicking that these assclowns are desperately in need of. Then, visions of lockups, felonies, lawsuits, and medical expenses danced through my head. I relented, started the car, waved goodbye to my new friends, and drove off to what I knew was going to be a marvelous day.

7 Comments:

At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excuse me stewardress, I speak assclownese...

"Not yet," is an accetable response to the assclownese query, "You got a fucking problem?" However, I believe the customary response is, "Not according to your mother."

 
At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those guys weren't assclowns. They were obviously fucktards.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger tfg said...

Assclownese? Hell, I barely speak english at that hour. It was way too early for that type of foolishness.

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger acw said...

Oh man! Waving probably pissed them off SO much. Good job!

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger jennetic said...

Bastards! This is why it's better to sleep in and avoid the early am fucktards. There are fucktards for all hours, but it's easier to deal with them when you're well rested and fully awake.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

I think I work with those guys ...

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger NPR Junky said...

I honestly think I LIVED next to them for a few years, when I was still an MD resident.

Stupid people just don't know when to quit. People really ought to need a license to breed.

 

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