Sunday, December 18, 2005

Who Gave This Assclown a Chemistry Degree, Anyway?

Tonight, it appears that I am the Assclown. I am hoping that it's temporary, but, as I am somewhat of an expert in these matters, I don't have high hopes.

I decided to clean my tub tonight, but I was out of Tilex. Guessing, from previous Sniff Test Data, that one of the active ingredients in Tilex is similar to ammonia, I decided to dilute straight ammonia in a bucket. I plopped the sponge in the bucket and started scrubbing. I was pleasantly suprised to find that ammonia is a relatively good solvent for soap scum. I was proud of myself until I dumped the remaining contents of the bucket into the toilet. Why the toilet and not the tub? Because I'm an Assclown.

I'd forgotten that I'd recently dropped a Clorox cleaning tablet into the tank of the toilet. As I hosed the tub clean, with the shower head, I noticed that my eyes and throat were burning. Then I looked in the toilet, which resembled an Alka-Selzer commercial. For those of you scoring at home, here is what happens when you mix ammonia and bleach:
NH3(aq) + HOCl(aq) → NH2Cl(g) + H2O(l)

NH2Cl is chloramine, which is a gaseous respiratory irritant. They may well repo my chemistry degree, after this one. This won't be a problem as I, apparently, wasn't needing it anyway.


At 11:53 AM, Blogger elcapitanhink said...

Did you work that chloramine reaction out in your head? If so, you can keep your degree.

I have a friend who teaches orgo at the Colorado School of Mines, and I've seen him lose a fingernail to an M100. In fact he has a problem timing out fireworks on the whole.

Creating a WWI-era chemical weapon is small taters. I myself manage to destroy the occasional piece of electronics, and the pointyheads over at NASA seem to crash billion-dollar spacecraft into planets at an alarming rate.

Good to be human. Sure glad I'm not a robot.


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