Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Can I Get a Witness?


In these tumultuous times, do you feel like you've lost your moral compass? Does it seem that you grow farther from Jesus with every passing day? Pastor Tfg, feels your spiritual anguish and wants to heal your aching soul. For years the Lord has been telling me that he needs me to His work. Until recently, it was unclear precisely how I should answer this call. It was only through the power of Jesus, that I have seen the light. I want to put you back on the righteous path of redemption through my new ministry: Our Lady of the Miraculous Revelation.

At our evening services, Assistant Pastors Tabitha, Destiny, Jade, Electra, Tifanee, and Brown Sugar lead the congregation in joyous praise of His creations. Our Minister of Music, DJ Smoothie, provides a harmonious atmosphere in which you are assured to find uplifting, to say the least. Unlike other churches, we are not financially motivated; typical offerings consist of as little as a single dollar bill. Any of the Assistant Pastors are available for biblical lap-based counseling, to help work through any of the spiritual obstacles that we occasionally encounter. Minister of Missions, Reverend Mack-tastic Skillz, regularly dispatches missionaries to street corners worldwide to share the Gospel with the needy. What are you waiting for? Come join our fellowship today and always remember: Matthew 22:39 "Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself. "

3 Comments:

At 9:26 AM, Anonymous fool said...

Just when I was about to give up on organized religion...

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

John 3:16 "There's no sex allowed in the champagne room."

 
At 2:57 PM, Anonymous E said...

Amen, brother! Good preacher!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home