Technology Issues

I found an interesting article about technology from Reuters. The key point of the article is as follows:

Half of all malfunctioning products returned to stores by consumers are in full working order, but customers can't figure out how to operate the devices, a scientist said on Monday......The average consumer in the United States will struggle for 20 minutes to get a device working, before giving up, the study found.

I can't say that I was particularly surprised by this information. As technology progresses, devices are becoming more compact in both size and functionality. The rate at which technology advances has also increased over that of past generations. For instance, if one learned the operation of a manual typewriter in 1920, they could still probably use an electric model in 1980. However, in 1990 it is doubtful they would find a word processor very useful. Clearly, being a technophile requires much more effort than in days past.

I have to admit that I've had my fair share of disappointments with new products that I've purchased. Although, I never surrendered after 20 minutes, there are some products that I haven't been able to get the desired results from. I've never had the nerve to return these items, so I stash them in a closet and pretend that I never bought them. Here are a couple of the devices that I haven't had any luck with.


The first time I saw a Flowbee on TV, I was sold. It looked so easy to use and it even cleaned up the mess. It came with an assortment of clever attachments that allowed numerous types of haircuts to be given. I figured that for only $60, it would pay for itself in a matter of months. No matter how much I practiced with the Flowbee, I never could quite get the hang of it. As you can imagine, I was kind of unpopular with my former girlfriend and her dog for several weeks.




When I saw this product, I thought I'd found a winner. As you can see from the ad, this product is supposed to accelerate the drying process. I can tell you that this is a blatant falsehood. When I received the product, I followed the directions explicitly. The results were disappointing to say the least, particularly during the humid Baltimore summer.

I seriously considered filing a false advertising complaint with the Federal Trade Commission. It is clearly fraudulent for the manufacturer to claim that this product provides any assistance with embarrassing crotch-based perspiration issues. Maybe they could market this product as a fabric softener for clothing, instead.


This was another device that looked so simple to use on TV. In fact, the actor that demonstrated it on the commercial was an elderly woman. Clap on -- clap off, I figured that I'd found the answer to many of my problems. And at $17.95, their offer seemed too good to be true. It turns out that it was. When I received my Clapper, I plugged it into the receptacle, just like I'd seen on the commercial. Then I'd walk around my apartment, clapping my hands with no discernible effect. I tried it at various distances and angles and observed no improvement. I even tried clapping while repeating "Clap off -- Clap off", just like the actor did and it still didn't work. To be honest, I'm going to have to say that this was the most ineffective syphilis cure that I've run across.

I like new technologies and their potential to make my life easier. Even though I found these devices disappointing, I haven't let it discourage me. I think that my problem is simply that I am too bashful to ask for help. Thus, I'd like to take this opportunity to ask for advice with my newest purchase, as I'm certain that many of you are intimately familiar with it.