Interesting Conversations II

This is what is almost certain to be a recurring series of interesting conversations that I have overheard or participated in recently (or not so recently).

Getting the Most From Your Suicide On a Friday afternoon, I was working in an electrical enclosure.
Coworker: "You know that's hot, right?"
Me: "Yep."
Coworker: "480 (volts), right?"
Me: "Yeah, I know."
Coworker: "If I were you, I'd wait until Monday. No point in killing yourself before the weekend"

Making Time For What Is Important
Coworker: "XXXX, just called. He's having a party tonight. You wanna go?"
Me: "No, we're on the last flight out. We won't get into BWI until after midnight."
Coworker: "I know. It sucks because he's getting a midget stripper."
Me: "Is it an actual midget or just a really short dancer?"
Coworker: "He says it's for real. He's hired her before."
Me: "Well, that changes everything. I've been done for an hour, anyway. There's a flight at 4:30. Go tell them that we're leaving."
Sad Epilogue: After all that the midget stripper cancelled.

Respect Your Elders Overheard in a bar.
Guy1: "Bartender, bring us the check."
Bartender: "You just got here. Are you leaving?"
Guy1: "Well, you know how it is when you hang around these old fuckers. They like to be in bed by 8."
Older Guy2: "We are not 'old fuckers.' We're just old."

Lunch Overheard while waiting for an order in a Korean carryout, which also serves American food.
Disgruntled Customer: Presenting a chililess hot dog. "There's no chili on this."
Asian Proprietor: Presenting receipt. "You did not ask for chili. See, you asked for mustard and raw onions."
Disgruntled Customer: "I know. I didn't think I had to. I ordered a chilidog."