Sunday, June 24, 2007

Can't We All Just Get Along

If you aren't from Baltimore, this won't make a bit of sense. If you are from Baltimore, the same should hold true.

Emo Kids

A cloud hung over the local scene,
and some had been adjudged too mean.
Others may have been quite vain,
and now suffered the mortal pain.

Oh, the anguish. Oh, the grief.
This injustice is beyond belief.
Curse the grievous injury,
from those who refrain from "Yay for me!"

Marshal the forces, we must be strong
and swiftly we'll redress this wrong.
In secret we must surely meet,
to plan our archenemy's defeat.

Resolves were firmed and strange alliances made,
To ensure that rivals would be flayed.
Thus, the combatants took the field,
"Give no quarter! Never yield!"

The assaults were merciless and unrelenting,
never was seen more valiant commenting.
Such courage and valor despite the danger,
by angry lesbians, narcissists, and even a park ranger.

When the dust settled and the smoke had cleared,
the results were worse than had been feared.
Although they struggled, battled, and fought,
all their efforts had amounted to naught.

Then, although he often sounds absurd,
the voice of a lone Assclown was heard.
"I don't know how you could all forget,
it's just the fucking internet."

26 Comments:

At 2:41 PM, Blogger karla said...

I'm not from Baltimore...is that why none of your blog posts have made sense to me yet?

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger Cham said...

Assclown can scream and complain
But the situation is very plain
For it doesn't take much
To get Charmburg angered and such

But it is all in good fun
For those who don't mind the shun
The Internet is amusing
for peeps who keep from the boozing

But for those who insist on control
Will rally an attack on the troll
A call must go out
To bloggers about

The bar is the place,
a clandestine spot for those in distaste
A meeting to hide
As well as imbibe

The felines may plot and plan
And ensure order in the clan
Bloggers line up like soldiers
Treason must yield cold shoulders

But the troops will soon wane
Their efforts mostly in vane
For I will continue lurking
As long as the DSL is working

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

Now why would you go and post something us non-Baltimorans (?) could not be a part of? That's just mean. *sniff sniff*

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger tfg said...

karla-Perhaps, but I expect that the glue sniffing might be a factor, too.

cham-BWAHAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAA!

sassy-Trust me, you aren't missing out.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Antonio said...

I've heard of emo kids here in shitty-ass NC. Sadly my younger brother is one. I can't help feeling I've failed him as a role model

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Goddammit, that fucking pregnant babbler stole my line!!!

 
At 1:19 AM, Blogger a.g. said...

This should be entitled, "The best poem in the world:... Tribute"

The poet laureate of the BaltiBlogger world. You da man.

 
At 4:23 AM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

Me don' never unnerstand much what people be sayin anyways, so just keep on STOMPIN.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Broadsheet said...

I'm with a.g.

Well, done, well deserved, but most importantly - FUNNY. Not lame, or mean.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Kira said...

you and Cham have me nearly peein' (with laughter)!
anyhow there has got to be at least 1.5 blog dramas per year in this area. I suppose we were due for one :) (at least it's not me this time, I've been blog drama free for quite a while now)

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger ADW said...

Don't get it. But I don't get much of anything anyway.

 
At 5:54 PM, Blogger Kalleigh Hathaway said...

From the comments it seems that it might be a good thing to not get it. For once in my life.

True artists are always misunderstood anyway. Good luck with that.

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

You are right. I don't get it.

 
At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Crunchy BC said...

As far as I'm concerned, if it's not about a man from Nantucket, it's not poetry.

 
At 2:48 AM, Blogger tfg said...

antonio-Before I took this job, I was killing myself trying to find a job in NC/SC. It doesn't look that shitty to me.

dyck- First your manhood and now your line. What's next?

ag-Thanks. I have had Wonderboy stuck in my head for two days now. Thanks, again.

scary-I quit listening to them years ago. It simplifies everything.

broadsheet-Thanks. I was a little concerned with the lack of profanity, but I guess it will do.

kira-Thanks. Actually, I thought Cham's poem was funnier.

adw, cruisermel-It's kind of Baltimore thing, much like chlamydia.

kalleigh-They said the same thing when I sculpted Jesus from earwax.

cruchy- ...and he said with a grin....

 
At 9:18 AM, Anonymous hanmee said...

I'm not from Baltimore, but I will be IN Baltimore.

Where do these local punks hang out? I take it it's not near the EPSN zone near the Harbor.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger a.g. said...

Hey...nothing much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck, dood.

 
At 5:08 PM, Anonymous SC said...

I feel like I should get it, but I don't. Guess I don't know funny. Maybe if it were lame or mean I would.

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

We need something new, TFG...you and Cham are too smart for us....

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

Are emo kids those stupid little anoexicish cat-dick sickly looking boys in too tight pants who have long hair in their eyes and eyeliner on? If so, I think we have them here too. And I want to run them over with my car.

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Tickle THIS, Emo.

 
At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Claude said...

Ha! Made me laugh, it did. I was younger and stupider, once upon a time.

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger Jenny! said...

Thanks for giving me an out for not understanding!

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

OK, that's IT! Post some new shit already! I can't look at the word "Emo" any longer.

*Please*

 
At 9:02 AM, Blogger Antonio said...

NC isn't shitty? Well I guess I'd agree to that. You always view places differently when you grew up there. Grass is always greener and what not.

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

Hmm, lived near Charm City and worked there, but I still don't get it. I think I have to ease back into the blogging gig.

 

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