Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Welcome to Baltimore


Today, a vendor took us out to lunch at G&M Restaurant. This is a fairly popular seafood restaurant in Linthicum, indicated by the red dot on the map above. After I was finished eating, I remembered something that I forgot to buy on the way into work. So while the others finished eating, I left the restaurant and headed for the grocery store across the street. As I exited the building, I noticed a fire truck was pulling up and there was a small crowd gathered around something. As I approached, I saw an off-duty city firefighter attending to a man who was lying in a large pool of blood. I figured he had been hit crossing Hammonds Ferry Road. I went on to the grocery store, waited in line, and bought my item. When I returned, they had the injured man on a stretcher and were loading him into an ambulance. I stopped in the bathroom, on the way to the table, and saw the off-duty firefighter scrubbing the blood from his hands.

Me: "Did they catch the driver that hit him?"
Firefighter: "He wasn't hit by a car. He was stabbed."
Me: "Stabbed?"
Firefighter: "Yeah, through the lung. They said he tried to cut in line in the carryout part of G&M."

20 Comments:

At 1:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only in America. Can we not get some civilization? What's up with stabbing people for reasons other than a life and death situation??

 
At 7:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this for real?

 
At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely believe this! People would trade their first born if they could get their food faster from the carryout side of G&M. I always make my husband go pick up the food from there.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger tfg said...

No fooling

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger elcapitanhink said...

I don't take any shit from linecutters either.

And by the way something: getting my order of fried crappie with slaw and chips is worth your lung, too... so you can just step off with your 'flounder surprise'.

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger Cham said...

Stabbing was a completely appropriate punishment for a line-cutter. Whole Foods should hire the perp as a security guard, then maybe I'd shop there more.

 
At 9:41 AM, Anonymous fool said...

G&M crabcakes are totally worth the attempted murder charge. Geez. I thought everyone knew that.

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

This has nothing to do with America, and everything to do with Baltimoreans and their crabcakes.

I'd stab a bitch too.

 
At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Jason J. Thomas said...

Fool is right. The crabcakes at that joint are friggin' awesome.

"Getting stabby with it" is a bit too much, but there is something to be said about getting between someone and their desire for a good crabcake.

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Zombie said...

You mean this is out of the ordinary? Here in Cleveland, you could get shivved like a convict in the shower for way less offensive behavior. They give us our first knives when we turn 5.

And BTW TFG, SURE! We all 'believe' that you 'ducked out' to 'go to the drug store' and then came back. What is it they say about criminals always returning to the scene of the crime?!? You ain't fooling anybody, brother...

 
At 7:13 PM, Blogger tfg said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:17 PM, Blogger tfg said...

I don't like seafood, so I guess I don't fully comprehend the power of a G&M crabcake. Maybe G&M can use this in a new ad campaign: "G&M crabcakes. Good enough to stab a mofo over."

 
At 9:55 PM, Blogger John said...

"Here in Cleveland, you could get shivved like a convict in the shower for way less offensive behavior." that's some funny shit. my cousin saw a guy get shotgunned in a Burger King Drive thru. Flame Broiled Whoppers definitely ain't worth dying for.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Cham said...

You don't like seafood????

What are you doing in this place then? No wonder you don't understand!

 
At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't like seafood! Freak!

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger tfg said...

I came for the heroin, silly.

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

O.M.G.

 
At 5:19 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

Yeah, I'm with Dr. Zombie. That was pretty smart, tfg, typing up this little post as an alibi. BUT NOT SMART ENOUGH!

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Arctic Skipper said...

Ya know, if my team was the Baltimore Ravens, I'd be a little hostile over life, too.

(You don't like seafood? I'll second the 'FREAK!!!' statement.)

And your alibi IS just a liiiiiittle too pat . . . don't feel bad, I'd stab a bitch over a kick ass crab cake, too.

 
At 9:00 AM, Blogger Sam's Lil Sis said...

Imagine what would have happened had the person serving him messed up his order??

Nothing in Baltimore surprises me much anymore as far as violence

 

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