Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Tough Love

In a recent post, Mighty Dyckerson has proclaimed that he has finally found the woman of his dreams. Much to my amazement, she doesn't need to be inflated or wear a maskless football helmet. Dyck has even given her a pet name, which would be "Miracle Ass." Here is an excerpt of his devotion to her:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want this ass with every fiber of my being. If this ass were in my home, I would spend my remaining days on this Earth admiring its splendor and caressing its gentle curves. And I would spend my nights with my head perched atop its cushiony cheeks like an angel hovering above a puffy white cloud, dreaming dreams of bliss while drool oozes slowly from my mouth and into that superb crack, forming a river of sweet nectar surrounded by two fleshy banks of pure goodness.

Clearly, this is the real thing--or at least as close as it gets without matching, his and hers, Valtrex dispensers. Unfortunately, somehow the communications between his johnson and his brain got garbled. That's the only way that I can explain how he spent an entire Saturday in a tv room (I'm sure it's got a more technical name, but, honestly, who gives a shit?) being groped by her and not getting her phone number. Thus, I believe it us up to the blogging community to help Dyckerson help himself. Consequently, I propose a boycott of The Mighty Blog until Dyck posts a photograph of the Miracle Ass complete with the following tattoo:

Remember Dyck, someday you'll thank us for this. Probably after the itching goes away.

15 Comments:

At 9:18 AM, Blogger Hanmee said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger Hanmee said...

Yikes! That monkey is the scariest thing I've ever seen. It looks like a horror movie villain that is going around sticking its banana in horrible horrible places.

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger karla said...

This works perfectly into my schedule. I was boycotting his blog anyway.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger anonymouscoworker said...

I have that tattoo on my ass, and yet no one ever wants to see it.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

It reminds me of "The X Files". Sure, I WANT TO BELIEVE that he was in a dark trailer being groped by a hot babe with an equally hot ass (thus making the community at large [i.e. - Girl Scouts, Senior Citizens and other vulnerable objects of desire], that much safer). Heck, it's the reason we have trailer parks in the first place.

But let's face it. The infamous Bigfoot footage and countless grainy Loch Ness and UFO photos are way clearer than the photograph in question. So I will remain objective until there is evidence of a Close Encounter of the Third (Base) Kind.

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

come see my ass.

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

actually, its my daughter Raymis ass, come see it.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Silence all of you! This just in...I have obtained both the cell number AND email address of the Miracle Ass...and contact has been initiated!! I repeat, CONTACT HAS BEEN INITIATED!!!! Stay tuned to The Mighty Blog for an update! So let the boycott be lifted!!!!!

(BTW, it's called a CONTROL ROOM, fool.)

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger tfg said...

hanmee-Yes, that's Dyckerson's avatar. If you think that's scary, try his blog.

karla-I aim to please.

ACW-That's funny. I have a tattoo of an ass on my monkey and everybody loves it.

pug-Precisely. We must have hard evidence.

tkkerouac-PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE: THIS IS HOW YOU LEAVE A COMMENT.

dyck-That's a good start. What we need is a good finsh. Well, that and hidden video.

 
At 4:50 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

come compare asses now!

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

At first me believed that picture to be one of a man with a milwaukee tumor.
Me couldn't see a woman there.

Iffin me be correct the mighty one might need some psycological help.
Maybe from Dr.Ruth

 
At 1:30 AM, Blogger Kalleigh Hathaway said...

I wish someone loved my ass that much. ~sniff~

 
At 8:00 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

Wow, this must really be an ass-extraordinaire. Must go see!

 
At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Crunchy BC said...

Thank you. Now, please, come up with a reason to boycott ACW, Karla and yourself and then I can finally have my life back.

 
At 9:33 PM, Blogger Charles said...

The description!!!

MAAAAANNNN!

Oh but what it she farts. LOL

 

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