Tough Love

In a recent post, Mighty Dyckerson has proclaimed that he has finally found the woman of his dreams. Much to my amazement, she doesn't need to be inflated or wear a maskless football helmet. Dyck has even given her a pet name, which would be "Miracle Ass." Here is an excerpt of his devotion to her:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want this ass with every fiber of my being. If this ass were in my home, I would spend my remaining days on this Earth admiring its splendor and caressing its gentle curves. And I would spend my nights with my head perched atop its cushiony cheeks like an angel hovering above a puffy white cloud, dreaming dreams of bliss while drool oozes slowly from my mouth and into that superb crack, forming a river of sweet nectar surrounded by two fleshy banks of pure goodness.

Clearly, this is the real thing--or at least as close as it gets without matching, his and hers, Valtrex dispensers. Unfortunately, somehow the communications between his johnson and his brain got garbled. That's the only way that I can explain how he spent an entire Saturday in a tv room (I'm sure it's got a more technical name, but, honestly, who gives a shit?) being groped by her and not getting her phone number. Thus, I believe it us up to the blogging community to help Dyckerson help himself. Consequently, I propose a boycott of The Mighty Blog until Dyck posts a photograph of the Miracle Ass complete with the following tattoo:

Remember Dyck, someday you'll thank us for this. Probably after the itching goes away.