Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Slinging It

Did you know that you can paid to blog? Really. All you have to do is sign up with a service like payperpost.com or Blogitive and post about selected products. I was dumfounded when I realized how much I could and should be making from this otherwise fruitless endeavor. Thus, I have accepted a commision from the tourism industry to promote international travel. Now don't get the idea that I've sold out. If I wasn't 100% behind this product, I wouldn't even consider doing this.

It's summer, which is the time for taking vacations. Wouldn't you like to take your family somewhere unique? What could be better than giving your children memories that will last a lifetime. This is why you should consider taking a trip to the gorgeous seaside paradise of Dildo, Newfoundland :



Not only will you enjoy Dildo's picturesque scenery, but you can also help the Dildotians celebrate their heritage in their annual Dildo Days celebration. Of course, no Dildo party would be complete without the venerable Captain Dildo:



So, don't delay--book your reservations immediately for the most memorable vacation your family can take. Because once you've been in Dildo, you'll always have a little Dildo in you.

59 Comments:

At 7:22 AM, Blogger ADW said...

That was waaayyyy too easy for you. Really. Next, please find a Dillhole, Anywhere to lambast...

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger Kalleigh Hathaway said...

I'd bet they don't book too many lovers' getaway weekends. Well, at least not for couples.

 
At 8:39 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Thanks but no thanks. It's a poor substitute for a real vacation, though I could see how bloggers would theoretically be the ideal target demographic.

I could see the potential in a tie-in with Visa, though:

"When you go to Dildo, Newfoundland, be sure to take your Visa card. Because Visa is the only thing they take up in these backwoods, and they don't enjoy getting stiffed with any other form of plastic."

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Kadonkadonk said...

Sounds like my kind of town!

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

You sound as if you are quite familiar with Dildo. This is a new development...

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger karla said...

Maybe the only place in the world where you can truly feel at home.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

Man, Me could never have written that entire wiki-entry with a straight face.

Could never get the nerve to go to dildo. Not unless someone shipped me in a plain brown wrapper.

STOMP.

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger Broadsheet said...

Is there a battery factory there as well? I'd never have to leave town.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger anonymouscoworker said...

Most people don't know that Dildo High School is home of the Fistin' Pistons!

 
At 12:59 PM, Blogger Charles said...

Wow, a real place called Dildo...

I wonder if there is a blowupdoll anywhere?

 
At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Crunchy BC said...

Been there. They're all a bunch of cunts.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Magnum PO said...

And I thought Bunghole, NB was an embarrassing place to be from.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

Wait, that's starting to sound like a place I may want to visit.....

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger tfg said...

adw-Easy is good.

kalleigh-You could always hook up with the Captain.

pug-Actually, it probably would be an awesome vacation in the summer. The pictures looked beautiful.

kadonkadonk-I'd like to be the mayor there.

sassy- I'm not so sure about that.

karla-Yeah, it's like I'm back on board the mother ship.

scary-Hell, I'd be the Grand Marshal of their parade.

broadsheet-Hell, why even leave the house, right?

ACW-Thank God. I would feel so bad for those kids if they were known as the Deadly Dongs or such.

charles-No, Charles. You have to go to Twatt, Scotland for that.

crunchy-Nice.

magnum-It still is.

legaleagle-Don't forget to tell them who sent you.

 
At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Bonanza JellyBean said...

I went on vacation there last year. I couldn't sit down for weeks when I came back home.

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

My, you sent me to Mr. Potatohead Porn Theater...you really don't like me, do you? ;o)

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

I saw a Steely Dan concert there once.

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger Hendersonman said...

Remember what captain Dildo says.. You can take the woman out of Dildo, but you cant take the Dildo out of the woman

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Serena Joy said...

You'll make a bundle off this venture. And if you don't, you can use the pictures of your vacationers with the Captain for blackmail.:)

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Jeannie said...

All the Newfies I've known - not one ever mentioned this gem.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Catherinette Singleton said...

Wow! This place looks just as cool as Intercourse, PA. I know where I'm going for my next vacation. I wonder if I should bring my own batteries. . .

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger RevRee said...

Is there a suburb called Vibrator?

 
At 5:54 PM, Blogger Broadsheet said...

Isn't this eebmore's hometown? I think he's a Newfie, or perhaps he's a Nova Scotian?

 
At 6:12 PM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

Why? Will I get a discount? Or maybe a two-for-one special?

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Why would anyone want a "little" dildo in them? That's just silly. If you're going to have one - it may as well not be little. Of course, walking might be difficult.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Da Monkey Code said...

You wouldn't think they would be known for such items as spawning or whale meat but whatever.

Oh and take Catherinette's advice, Intercourse is a much better place in PA to visit than Blue Balls, which is actually just down the road.

 
At 12:02 AM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

I think I've found my birthday vacation spot! Thanks, TFG! XOXO

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous hanmee said...

Is this mostly a gay/lesbo hotspot or do they welcome heteros?

Unfortunately, you never see Samantha Brown going to tucked away locales like these.

 
At 2:40 AM, Blogger Diesel said...

But have you heard of the German city named Fucking?

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Strumpet said...

My parents went to Newfoundland and all I got was this huge dildo...

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger johnny dollar said...

they should build the corporate offices for Jiffy Lube in dildo.

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

If you don't dil-do, then you'll be dil-don't. Yeah, corny I know.

 
At 12:28 AM, Anonymous It's Me... Maven said...

www.rentadildo.com

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

This post be up fer so long now that when me thinks of tfg, me thinks of dildos. Could that be the true purpose of this post??

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger Crunchy BC said...

It's quiet now...almost too quiet...

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger Sassy Blondie said...

Perhaps you should post soon, or people will start wondering if you are still alive, no? ;o)

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger pissoff said...

Next stop, Spuzzum.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Antonio said...

OK, this is getting ridiculous. Entertain me, dammit!

 
At 9:10 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

Could it be that he done took off for Dildo?

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Serena Joy said...

ARE you still alive, T? Please -- SAY something.:)

 
At 10:42 AM, Anonymous hanmee said...

Why is it ALWAYS about the dildos?

Oh wait - this is the same post...

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

looks like yer gettin plenty of milage out of this dildo

LOL word Ver* JUZHUWMP

 
At 1:06 AM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Hello???????

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

OMG, hilarious, you are so FIRED!

 
At 11:38 PM, Blogger Corn Dog said...

Hello? Anyone home?

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

tfg, did you get smacked upside the head by the snack douche? Kinapped by the C.I.A? What's up?

Keep on Stompin, bud

 
At 12:58 AM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

Um, are you boycotting until I show up with the boots? Please come back, you make me laugh.

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Evan said...

You've got a great blog man. Just stopping in to give you some props. Loved the one about the hot care saleswoman haha. Check mine out if you get a chance.

 
At 11:25 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

No, seriously, where the fuck are you? I'll offer you free week-old homemade chocolate chip cookies.

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger Tiggerlane said...

Uh...are you there?

Beuller?

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

The lights are on...Lets try knocking.

STOMP.
STOMP!
STOMP!!

 
At 2:45 AM, Anonymous Bella said...

"the Dildotians", okay, you are just awesome! BAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

Me knows you be alive, but why ain't ya here???

Get back to stompin!

 
At 2:14 PM, Blogger karla said...

No new post since July? I like it. You're much funnier this way.

 
At 3:04 PM, Blogger TK Kerouac said...

just checking my sidebar link
I've gone private, if you'd like a invite, email me at , tkkerouac.gmail.com
momtheminx

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger Benjamin Rubenstein said...

brilliant!

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You and Karla had the funniest blogs ever. Why did you both quit? We miss you. PLEASE COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brother-in-law is actually from the town. I was floored when I found out, of course. He married my sister-in-law there and several of us drove up there for a good ol' Dildo wedding. It's actually a very picturesque town and other than the town road sign and the KKK store (LMAO) there aren't any other notable sources of 'dildo related humour'... just a sleepy little town which probably has the word ingrained so well into its vernacular that it doesn't even hear the humour in it. :-/

 
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