Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Empire Strokes Black

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.


During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Dong Star, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

In response to the ominous threat posed by the Dong Star, the Rebels dispatched their most trusted agent to destroy the menace.

Unfortunately, the Dong Star's defenses were too stout for R2D2's head-mounted reach around/roach clip attachment. Thus, the wily robot resorted to showing Darth Vader episodes of Battlestar Galactica until certain gayness resulted.

Once Darth Vader had been converted to the "other" dark side, R2D2 implemented his devious plan.


R2's plan met with some initial resistance, until he used the Force.


Thus, the Dong Star was rendered harmless and the Rebels lived to fight another day.



Stay tuned for the sequel in this compelling TaterPorn trilogy: Return of the Redeye.

20 Comments:

At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus, you are a right raunchy pervert.

 
At 6:10 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

What, no Don Henley jokes??

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger NPR Junky said...

I agree with anon above...you are a sick, sick man. Those poor, defenseless taters! Don't you know that the KY could potentially cause them to turn into self-warming fries? You evil potato-hating bastard!

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger verity said...

You two ruined the dong for me.

lol

 
At 10:32 PM, Blogger tfg said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 6:22 AM, Blogger tfg said...

anon-I'm glad I'm still popular in Australia.

dyck-Actually, the huge phallus is an allegory of Don Henley.

npr-These are professional actors. No actual taters were harmed in the making of this production.

geisha-Actually, it's dishwasher-safe.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Linda said...

It takes a brave man to admit to owning these items, let alone displaying them on the internets.

Also - you have way too much free time.

PS Where's Princess Leah?

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger Tiggerlane said...

Hmmm...that bottle doesn't look like it's been used much.

Then again, those taters have BIG back drawers...I'm sure they can handle the force of the dong!

 
At 6:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How much did the toys cost? It looks like you spent a lot of money on this post.

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger karla said...

I like how you've combined being a total nerd and a total pervert.

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger tfg said...

linda-It is important to make time for what is important, like enormous rubber phalli.

tiggerlane-Not being terribly familiar with Taters, I was also more than a little suprised at the breadth of their exit hatches. I'm thinking that this might not have been Darth's first time.

anon-Not a penny. Do you really think I'd pay money for this foolishness?

karla-I'm finding that is one of the better combinations there is.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger NPR Junky said...

"More than a little suprised..." Come on, tfg, admit it. You didn't even know what their exit hatches WERE, did you?

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

So much for the rumors that he was packin' a "light" saber.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Oh, and "may the anal warts be with you".

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

My Violator! Where did you find it?

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Charles said...

LMFAO

Where is Luke in this saga, isn't he supposed to "used the force".

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger tfg said...

npr-Well, maybe I needed some guidance.

puerileuwaite-The anal warts may or may not be with me. It just depends on who's asking.

ACW-It was part of my Wilt Chamberlain Fan Kit.

charles-Unfortunately, there is no Luke tater.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Cham said...

It doesn't come as a big surprise that you own a dong star. I'd like to see the rest of your toys (in picture form, of course)

 
At 10:52 AM, Anonymous andy said...

Oh...oh my. I don't even know how that idea comes to a human, but I wish I had it/one.

Not that giant dildo though, that thing's gayer than Don Henley!

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger John said...

why do you have a tiny black dildo?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home