Christ, They've Crapped In My Corn Flakes

I am a simple man. I don't ask for much from my breakfast cereal. When I open a box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, all that I am expecting is corn flakes that have been frosted. Sure, I don't mind the occasional bonus toy, but I don't consider its absence a dealbreaker. Normally, I pay little mind to these toys. They get tossed in a junk drawer, never to be seen again. Unless, of course, they bear a striking resemblance to beaked, beady eyed, bobbleheaded, pantsless, pieces of excrement. That changes everything.

As a shareholder, I wonder how many Kellogg's MBAs, at $90k/year, it required to hatch this masterstroke of marketing genius. I'll bet the marketing strategy meeting went like this:

MBA1: "You know, our Frosted Flakes product is not aligned with our new Value-Adding Constraint Maximization Paradigm Shift."
MBA2: "I agree. Do you think that we should add a plastic turd?"
MBA1: "Precisely. But give it a beak and beady eyes, because demographics have shown that our customers want their plastic turds to have personality."

Someday, maybe I'll bask in the enlightenment that a MBA degree provides. Until then, I will have to have to settle for the mystification that is symptomatic of being an undereducated clod. If nothing else, at least I have gained a clearer understanding on how this happened: