Monday, January 09, 2006

Fan Appreciation Day

Last week, I ran into a problem at work that I thought could be solved with a large fan. Or to put it in technical engineering parlance; a big ass fan. I logically deduced that the best place to look for a big ass fan would be at the Big Ass Fan Company. On their website, I noticed that they have a section titled, Genius NOT At Work, in which they have various alternative applications of their products submitted by customers. The application that particularly caught my eye was entitled "Personal Big Ass Fan." For those too lazy to click, I have swiped the photos.

The submitter chose to remain anonymous but judging from the second picture (I didn't photoshop his trousers) his contribution was most timely. I have nothing but admiration for the contributor's technical prowess. In fact, I was inspired to create concept drawings for the next generation of cutting edge Asswear:

Personal Big Ass Fan O' Generosity

Are you a Giver? Do you get a warm feeling of satisfaction from sharing with others? What better gift is there than the gift of oneself? We, at TFG Industries, understand this and have designed a revolutionary product with you in mind. The Personal Big Ass Fan O' Generosity (PBAFOG) combines form and function in one labor saving device that allows the distrubtion of your very essence to your friends and coworkers. Never again will you waste hours going from cubicle to cubicle spreading backdoor bliss. Through improvements in fan positioning and blade design, the PBAFOG is designed to maximize outward diffusion reducing your task to a matter of minutes. You'll find that the PBAFOG increases the quality of almost every aspect of your life. Crowded subway cars, long DMV lines, and the elderly can all be dispatched with the flick of a switch. Additionally, the PBAFOG is powered by an explosion proof (Class 1, Div. 1) motor that allows you to enjoy that extra burrito supreme with confidence. So, order today because we know that you have so much to give.


At 2:59 PM, Blogger Scott said...

ummm... Holy Crap. I already linked to your site - but I will now be directing as much traffic here as possible.

This is amazing.

At 9:19 PM, Blogger Arctic Skipper said...

Brilliant! It totally takes away all the time consuming stress of 'crop dusting!' Instead of trying to bottle up the stench and powder the entire room in small increments, you can just let loose and hit the fan! I love it! I'll take 3 million, please.

(I think your word verification just propositioned me . . . .)

At 9:23 PM, Blogger John said...

We'd like to include this in our D.O.O.D.U line over at Shop Dungarees. Just need you to sign the release forms.

At 1:16 AM, Blogger elcapitanhink said...

(So that's what a CAD machine is for? All this time I've just been chucking basketballs at it; recording myself the whole time. )

Kudos on the schematics, though being an engineer of sorts, I'd really have to question the effective range as it relates to hydrogen sulfide ppm. Dispersion is the enemy.

At 5:13 AM, Blogger tfg said...

I will have to check out the D.O.O.D.U. line at Shop Dungarees.

At 6:15 AM, Blogger chunky monkey said...

No one needs to see a techie's ass.

At 6:58 AM, Blogger tfg said...

I disagree. Ass-spotting is a sport that can be enjoyed by all.

At 6:55 AM, Blogger chunky monkey said...

yes, but it depends on the ass ;)


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