Only You Can Prevent Trouser Fires

Today, I outdid myself. Overnight, the electricity to my apartment must have temporarily gone out. Thus, I woke up at 8:30 AM to an alarm clock blinking 12:00. We are supposed to start working at 8:00 AM, so I was already late. I got into the shower with the feeling that I was forgetting something. Regardless, I showered and went to get dressed when I realized that I'd forgotten to transfer a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. Unfortunately, my laundry system is still recovering from the two weeks when I was out of town, so this load contained the only clean boxers that I had. I didn't have time to put the boxers in the dryer, but I didn't want to go commando.

I happened to remember that microwave ovens work primarily on water molecules. Thus, I decided to stick a wet pair of boxers in the microwave for one minute. It worked well, steam was visibly radiating from the underwear. So, I tried two minutes with even better results. And then two more minutes. I could feel the fabric getting noticeably drier. Thus, I figured 6 minutes would take care of the entire problem. Wrong. Let's just say the boys were swinging freely today.