Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Only You Can Prevent Trouser Fires

Today, I outdid myself. Overnight, the electricity to my apartment must have temporarily gone out. Thus, I woke up at 8:30 AM to an alarm clock blinking 12:00. We are supposed to start working at 8:00 AM, so I was already late. I got into the shower with the feeling that I was forgetting something. Regardless, I showered and went to get dressed when I realized that I'd forgotten to transfer a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. Unfortunately, my laundry system is still recovering from the two weeks when I was out of town, so this load contained the only clean boxers that I had. I didn't have time to put the boxers in the dryer, but I didn't want to go commando.

I happened to remember that microwave ovens work primarily on water molecules. Thus, I decided to stick a wet pair of boxers in the microwave for one minute. It worked well, steam was visibly radiating from the underwear. So, I tried two minutes with even better results. And then two more minutes. I could feel the fabric getting noticeably drier. Thus, I figured 6 minutes would take care of the entire problem. Wrong. Let's just say the boys were swinging freely today.


25 Comments:

At 11:35 PM, Blogger elcapitanhink said...

Looks like the last time I had a 7-layer burrito t 2am.

 
At 11:54 PM, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

hahahahaahahahah

well. at least you weren't in them at the time.

 
At 1:29 AM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

Don't lie. Those were the boxers you went dancing in to the discotheque the other night.

Needless to say, you were on fiyah.

 
At 3:40 AM, Blogger RevRee said...

That is so hot! Next time, take a picture of the Boys instead of the boxers!

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger theotherbear said...

I thought stories of people drying teatowells in the microwave were old wives tales leftover from the 80's. But boxers, that you're about to wear? wow, dude.

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger Kira said...

what a bachelor thing to do.
you funny.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger johnny dollar said...

OMG i totally predicted this post - i am the nostrodamus of blogging:

june 19, 2006 comment on living in the big time's blog comments:

"johnny dollar said...
well you could be like tfg by microwaving improper things and taking photos of it :) :) :)

2:57 PM "

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

Goodness...
gracious...
great balls of fire.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Broadsheet said...

Good Lord! You're the guy that tried this with a wet kitten weren't you?

 
At 1:05 PM, Anonymous Lori said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

That has GOT to be the funniest thing I've seen all day.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so funny I almost choked on my lunch when I saw the Boxers.

Double Dogged

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger Cham said...

I take it then you don't own a hairdryer, standard equipment for speed drying clothing.

 
At 7:10 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

I told you that aluminum foil underwear was a bad idea.

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger doggerelblogger said...

I think you should have worn them anyway. Sort of ties in with the whole, "suspicious holes in pants" thing you have going on.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Ha! Nice job.

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger tfg said...

hink-Yeah, 7 layered burritos tend to pay off in the end.

snay-Very true.

idle-A disco inferno, eh? I'm actually entirely too white for dancing.

revree-I usually reserve those photos for E-Bay.

theotherbear-Actually, the principle is sound. Next time, I'll do it in 3 minute increments and I won't walk away from it.

kira-Yeah, luckily the smoke detector malfunctioned or it might have gotten real unfunny.

j$-Wow. You really did predict this. Next time, why don't you give a heads up before I do the stupid thing that you have prophesized?

ACW-Fortunately not.

Broadsheet-I would never harm an animal. Even a cat.

lori, dd-Thanks.

cham-Well, I used to. I'll spare you the details of how I burned that up.

dyck-Actually, it's still better than my saran-wrap condom debacle.

doggerelblogger-The smell was overpowering. Otherwise, I might have considered framing them.

Oh, The Joys-Thanks.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Mr. Anthrope said...

PayDay wrappers make the best condoms...aside from condoms

 
At 7:25 AM, Blogger R2K said...

That looks nasty. What were those made out of, dacron?

 
At 8:25 AM, Blogger Charles said...

LMFAO, At least I know what not to do now. Never put Boxers in Microwave...CHECK!

Next time try the oven. Well actually it would take longer, but it works as long as you leave the oven door open and hang your clothe(s) from a hanger.

 
At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice, TFG. Thanks for providing me and my brethren with a little job security.

-Clark
W,F&DT

 
At 9:17 AM, Anonymous flutterfly said...

They don't look anything like boxers...boxers have squashed up faces and big jouly jaws. It looks something more like a west highland terrier.....but with a kinda weird coat....

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger karla said...

The most surprising part of this story is that you wash your clothes. I wouldn't have guessed that.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger chunky monkey said...

oh my gosh...
hahahahhaa

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

There's a "Blazing Saddles" joke in this somewhere ...

Great blog, tfg.

 
At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Contrary to your post I have discovered that the microwave is a more the suitable method to dry your boxers with.

 

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