Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hallmark MacGyver

As I have mentioned before, my father and I aren't particularly enthusiastic about holidays. Particularly when it comes to exchanging greetings card. We traditionally exchange previously used cards, where we have replaced the prior sender's writing with our own. For instance, here is the last birthday card that I sent to him.

Today, I realized that Father's Day is this upcoming Sunday. It's Wednesday night and I'm in my hotel room in Minnesota. Thus, there is no way that I can wait until I return to Baltimore to mail his card and have any hope of having it arrive on time. I'm left with little choice but to come up with a card while I'm out here. I couldn't bear the thought of breaking tradition by buying a new card, so here is my solution.






23 Comments:

At 4:11 AM, Blogger theotherbear said...

That is freaking hillarious.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger johnny dollar said...

relative to the macgyver reference, when he opens it will it blow up?

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger chunky monkey said...

The ultra-absorbent remark is more suitable for a birthday card, but you did a great job on the fly.

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger Broadsheet said...

Your father must be so proud!!

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger TheIdleReceptionist said...

That deserves an award or something. Instead of an envelope, you should mail in in one of those hard plastic cases that birth control pills come it.

Er...if you had access to such a thing...

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger johnny dollar said...

the closest i've come is giving my brother a bar mitzvah card with "a" "mi" and "zva" crossed out so i could make it "birthday"

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger Charles said...

THAT IS A COOL TRADITION!

I missed out

Wow!

That is hillarious and absorbent

 
At 10:23 PM, Blogger RevRee said...

I have an extra tampon if you'd like to add a little surprise with the card!

 
At 12:06 AM, Blogger elcapitanhink said...

Bravo, man. Bravo.

For some reason, this reminds me of that old joke:

What's the difference between Bea Arthur and an old shoe?

Well, you could eat an old shoe, if you had to.

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger tfg said...

theotherbear-Thanks.

j$-No, but it might help if he's feeling "not so fresh."

cm-Thanks.

broadsheet-Considering the fact that my dad once sent a fully functional toy drumset to the child of a non-paying client, I think he'll like it.

idle-Actually, it went out in a hotel stationery envelope.

j$-He's got cards that have been used 10 times over.

Charles-I don't know about cool, but it is unique.

revree-Tampons are more Christmassy.

hink-Blasphemer. You wouldn't say such mean things about her, if you, too, had the Nude Golden Girls calendar.

 
At 3:10 PM, Anonymous JennyGags said...

Is this like those duct tape books?

It's not like you were even clever enough to write your message on the side of tampax, then stuff it back up the cardboard applicator [which is never to be discarded in the terlet unless you are a skank], and then mail it to Dear Ole Dad, who upon seeing the string thought "Cool, a firecracker for Father's Day."

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Charles said...

yeah your right it's unique, I still think it's kind of cool. It's more than what my dad and I have.

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Kira said...

you didn't have to write anything... the title and picture say it all.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger doggerelblogger said...

"Harder. Oh, Jesus. Harder. OoogyOoogyOooogy. Oh, Jesus. Harder. OooogyOoogyOoogyOoogy...etc."

 
At 9:53 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

So you're saying your father is a douche bag?

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Marcia said...

You FRICKEN rock.

 
At 2:57 AM, Blogger Chief Scientist said...

I sent my father toilet paper. He said he was moved.

Get it?? MOVED?

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Antonio said...

Hilarious.

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger NPR Junky said...

Absolutely CLASSIC. Your father must be so proud!

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Arctic Skipper said...

I didn't think you could beat the Mr Coffee card, but this is awesome.

Oooogy? If that pops into my head the next time I'm having sex and I bust out laughing like an idiot, thereby resulting in my getting in serious trouble with the boyfriend, I'm coming after you.

 
At 2:45 AM, Blogger Mr. Anthrope said...

i hate my fucking father. oh, did i get off-topic?

 
At 5:25 PM, Anonymous Caryn said...

What a fun tradition! Much more creative.

 
At 2:48 PM, Anonymous ~ Stacy ~ said...

OMGawd! Your creativity is an inspiration to all.

 

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