Dream Job
Earlier today I was perusing Money magazine's list of 100 best employers. I was more than a little disappointed to see that my current employer, Rent-A-Retard, didn't make the list. Nevertheless, I did hit paydirt when I found this:
Obviously, the prospect of working for a Fortune 500 company that is riding the 17 year patent protection/price-fixing profit rocket must be more lucrative than my current position. This is further compounded by the fact that they provide free Pap smears. Sure, I'm currently saving a bundle by been buying them in bulk from local garage sales. Nevertheless, the surplus in my Pap smear budget will allow me to build a home theatre to showcase my new video collection:
Now before you start posting your typical rude and derogatory comments, remember: If you play your cards right, you might get invited to an advanced screening of Not So Fantastic Voyage.
posted by tfg @ 8/25/2006 05:49:00 AM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Not that I have been invited or anything but, could I provide some running commentary on the fantastic voyage? It would go something like this:
"If everyone on this trip thinks a happy thought maybe the anal sphincter will open. C'mon everybody, let's get to the sigmoid!"
What do you mean "Not So Fantastic"? Apparently somebody's proctologist doesn't have Parkinson's.
I'm more excited about the mammograms. This lump is started to bother me.
For ONCE I'd like to get a pap that isn't smeared. You'd think for the amount we pay for those things, they could be more careful.
Those drug companies are always sticking it up our asses, but it's nice to know it's being done by professionals.
Can't they simply duct tape the camera to the gerbil?
mr. friendly-I'll definitely hire you to do the voice overs.
ACW-Yeah, but how I am supposed to record it for posterity. The camcorder sure as hell didn't fit.
crunchy-Damn, now I feel that I'm getting ripped off.
antonio-I don't think manboobs are susceptible to cancer.
karla-Is that why you've switched from Summer's Eve to Windex?
dyck-This is true.
hink-Catheterization isn't one of my favorite words, either.
puerileuwaite-I'm an armadillo man, myself.
I have a friend who is a cameraperson who got a freelance job videotaping people undergoing the "fantastic voyage".
He said there was a lot of farting.
*snort* not so fantastic voyage! you kill me there.
Post a Comment
<< Home