Wednesday, January 03, 2007

DUI Detector

I read the following in an article on Yahoo News tonight:

TOKYO - Toyota Motor Corp. is developing a fail-safe system for cars that detects drunken drivers and automatically shuts the vehicle down if sensors pick up signs of excessive alcohol consumption, a news report said Wednesday. Cars fitted with the detection system will not start if sweat sensors in the driving wheel detect high levels of alcohol in the driver's bloodstream, according to a report carried by the mass-circulation daily, Asahi Shimbun.

Consequently, I am developing a fail-safe system for thwarting the sweat sensors of Toyota's DUI detector. My design is still in the concept stage, but I'm thinking about calling my system "Gloves."

Seriously, I doubt that Toyota's system will see the light of day in the US. Although it will be rejected under the guise of protecting civil liberties and personal privacy, I expect that it will actually be the
US state judicial systems that will prevent its implementation. While drunk driving is idiotic and dangerous, above all its profitable. You heard it here first.


At 2:55 AM, Anonymous Mary said...

i dont remember how i found this blog... but the gloves comment made me just about die laughing.

good show

At 7:39 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 7:44 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

The designers could thwart your glove trick by also having the car ask a series of questions that would assess your level of intoxication, such as:

1) Do you find Paris Hilton attractive?

2) Do Britney Spears' upskirt shots make you horny?

3) Did you just leave the bar with the last girl that was available?

4) Do you think Bob Saget is funny?

Besides, if universally adopted, this system would force professional athletes to hire drivers for every commute.

Can't we all agree that instead they should make the engine lose power if the turn signals have not been used at least once during every 5-minute rolling window? Or does the same if the bozo tries to pass on the right, drives slow in the left lane, or fails to yield (or provide a gap) for a merge?

At 10:48 AM, Blogger eebmore said...

puerileuwaite, I think #2 is a bit off. I don't think those britney shots did anything for even the world's biggest drunks; but # 3 is brilliant! It would be far better if the car had a camera pointed at the passinger seat - and if you tried to start your car just after last call - a computer connected to the camera could judge whether she is coyote ugly or not. If she is coyote ugly, either the car would not start, as you’re obviously too intoxicated to drive, or an ejection seat could launch her into the stratosphere! Win win, either way.

*sigh* if only there was such an invention back in my drinking days.

At 1:29 PM, Blogger hanmee said...

Sad but true

At 5:12 PM, Blogger Cham said...

Bob Saget, yum!

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Fuck gloves. I'm getting me one of them fuzzy steering wheel covers.

At 6:27 AM, Blogger tfg said...


puerilewaite-Your ideas are brilliant. Item 4 will also serve to keep wholesome Christians of the road, which is an added bonus.

eebmore-I remember you. Didn't you have a blog once?

hanmee-That is true of much of our society.

Cham- Bob Saget is hispanic? Who knew?

dyck-I wouldn't expect anything less of you.

At 11:21 AM, Anonymous Crunchy BC said...

Seems strange. As I understand it, in Tokyo, drinking actually improves the average citizen's driving skills.

Gotta go. I'm late for my court-ordered cultural sensitivity training.

At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Steering Wheel Condoms would make for a better marketing ploy.

At 10:46 PM, Blogger karla said...

Saw what? I'm sorry, I'm a little drunk, I may not be picking up on all the nuances.


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