Monday, April 30, 2007

I Wonder If It Works Like Amway

Remember the good old days, when you'd have to sneak off in a disguise to a seedy part of town to purchase your orgy butter. Apparently, door-to-door dildo sales have arrived:

The sign clearly states, "For Women Only." I am curious as to why my doubledong dollar isn't as good as the next gal's. Oh well, I'll guess I'll stick to the dull, traditional romantic gifts like wine, flowers, and strawberry icing.

20 Comments:

At 7:50 AM, Blogger Kalleigh Hathaway said...

I've been to one of these parties, although it was a different brand name. I was amazed how many grown women were there who were still visibly embarrassed by their own sexuality, whereas to me most of the stuff was pretty commonplace. I would guess that's the reason that it's for women only ... if the point is to try to get women more in touch with the adventure of sex then having men present may inhibit them. On the other hand, I'm laughing to think what a group of men might do if they wanted to host a party without their significant others ... some might actually think the saleswoman was making a pass at them and get confused as to exactly what she's there to offer!

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger Scary Monster said...

Maybe a lil ol Monster might be able to slip meself in.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger karla said...

You know you don't have to purchase your sex toys in a store like the commoners. I'll continue to mail you my castoffs, just like always.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Serena Joy said...

I don't know why they don't have these parties in my neighborhood. It's hard having to sneak into the seedy part of town late at night to find purveyors of supplies. It's even harder when you ask on the wrong corner.

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Hanmee said...

And you thought your women were attending tupperware or candle parties. Ha!

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger anonymouscoworker said...

I'm pretty sure that they don't even sell double-dongs at these parties. Where the hell do we live? Communist Russia?

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger ADW said...

I think it would be even more fun to have guys at these parties. WE could have you try out the "product" for us.

Blech, just kidding. Personally, I like going to the seedy places. It is a good excuse to dress up in a trenchcoat and hat with 5 inch stilletos and nohing on underneath.

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Serena Joy said...

Personally, I like going to the seedy places. It is a good excuse to dress up in a trenchcoat and hat with 5 inch stilletos and nohing on underneath.


You do that, too, ADW? LOL.

 
At 2:19 PM, Anonymous Crunchy BC said...

I hope it leads to a full-blown turf war between Slumber Party, Inc., the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Girlscouts.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger RevRee said...

Do you think my new book "How to build a sex bomb (with everyday household items)" would sell at these parties?

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger Kalleigh Hathaway said...

ADW, I've always dreamed about going to a seedy place, especially in a trenchcoat and heels, but the logical part of my brain (which is most of it) says that I will probably end up attacked and feeling like I was asking for it so much that I would feel shitty just filing a report about it.

The fun we logical people deny ourselves ...

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger tfg said...

kalleigh- Let the record clearly indicate that I'm all in favor of women who are in tune with their sexuality.

scary-No offense, but now that I think about it, you look a little like a little green sex toy.

karla-Please don't ship another one. There is nowhere to park a flatbed semi at my apartment complex.

SJ-Hmm...I'd almost pay to hear that conversation. "Excuse me, sir. Could you tell me where PlasticPhalli 'R' Us is located?"

hanmee-Tupperware is OK, but I'd prefer sex toy parties to scrapbook parties any day of the week.

ACW-Well, the double dongs don't sell themselves. Or maybe they do....

ADW-Who needs an excuse?

crunchy bc- If Jehovah's witnesses knocked on my door while bearing that kind of info, maybe I wouldn't tell them to piss off so quickly. Hmmm....you may have given me an idea.

revree-Absolutely. Maybe even better than the "Tickle His Pickle" book on the website.

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger Mighty Dyckerson said...

Why don't you go into competition and start your own male sex shoppe? Lord knows you've got enough anal beads and butt plugs to keep you in business for years.

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Serena Joy said...

Oh, no, trust me, you'd pay big money NOT to hear that conversation.

 
At 10:49 PM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

there's nothing more mortifying then having your mother show up at one of those parties when you weren't expecting her. I'm completely secure in the fact that my mother has never had sex.

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger puerileuwaite said...

Kennedys throw the best slumber parties, provided you don't:

1) Ride with them to the party in an open motorcade;

2) Have one of them drive you home;

3) Have one of them drive your babysitter home;

4) Take an intoxicated late night stroll with one of them afterwards on the Kennedy compound;

5) Pass out on the bed after taking way too many barbituates;

6) Attempt to "invade Cuba" without proper "protection".

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

I have a friend who went to one of these...what cracks me up about this sign is that the woman has her name/email address posted! Being discreet nowadays just doesn't happen. Hopefully she advertises the company well...

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

Oh, I've been to these "parties." And actually, the most fun I had was at one that was co-ed. The guys really cracked us up by making fun of every product (although you knew they secretly wanted everything, include the oh wait, nevermind.)

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

Oh, its all a SHAM for the escort services by your way in DC........

 
At 6:36 PM, Blogger Aza said...

A friend of mine (no, really!) throws these parties...super fun!

 

Post a Comment

<< Home